Question about stress

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Re: Question about stress

Postby aubreyh24 » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:21 pm

I am 24, will be 25 in June and my partner is 24 in March. She has a 6 yr old from a previous relationship so she wants to have a sibling for her 6yr old-which is another reason we're getting serious about having a child soon. She feels if she waits too long to have a sibling for her daughter, there will be much sibling rivalry. I have my undergrad degree and plan on finishing with a masters in Occupational Therapy. The program here in Augusta is only 2yrs so I will be done soon. I plan on scheduling my time well so I will have time for study/family. My partner is also very cooperative with the idea of me having a demanding studying schedule and she realizes she will mostly be the one taking care of the child until I am done with school. So, I don't know exactly if things will go as planned but I feel if our relationship is strong enough-and I do-that we will get through it. I also figure that if the child is born my 2nd yr in school-I will only technically miss 1 yr of the child's life-not that that is ok, but I think it may be ok in the long run assuming that I will have a successful career and be able to provide for my child.
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Re: Question about stress

Postby CaribMD » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:36 pm

aubreyh24 wrote:I am 24, will be 25 in June and my partner is 24 in March. She has a 6 yr old from a previous relationship so she wants to have a sibling for her 6yr old-which is another reason we're getting serious about having a child soon. She feels if she waits too long to have a sibling for her daughter, there will be much sibling rivalry. I have my undergrad degree and plan on finishing with a masters in Occupational Therapy. The program here in Augusta is only 2yrs so I will be done soon. I plan on scheduling my time well so I will have time for study/family. My partner is also very cooperative with the idea of me having a demanding studying schedule and she realizes she will mostly be the one taking care of the child until I am done with school. So, I don't know exactly if things will go as planned but I feel if our relationship is strong enough-and I do-that we will get through it. I also figure that if the child is born my 2nd yr in school-I will only technically miss 1 yr of the child's life-not that that is ok, but I think it may be ok in the long run assuming that I will have a successful career and be able to provide for my child.
OK I understand, you will sacrifice some time but it will not be so much, its just harder while in school.
It's doable because what counts will matter, Family then school in that order.
Just plan on having study periods and arrangements for the Kids to give you the time you need to succeed. I take days off at a time where I do not studying and spend family time.:wink:
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Re: Question about stress

Postby aubreyh24 » Fri Jan 08, 2010 10:27 pm

Thanks you all for your suggestions and input! I will update shortly. If anyone else had advice I have open ears!
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Re: Question about stress

Postby ReturnToMed » Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:10 am

Sorry to backtrack on this one - I thought "time concerns" meant you or your partner were in your late 30s. 24-25 is still very young, and you already have a child - sibling rivalry shouldn't be a concern for trying to have another child soon. Rivalry would probably be less with an older child.

I would recommend waiting at least until you're done with your graduate program before having another child, perhaps even after you've been in a stable job for a year or two. You'd only be 28 and could have 6 more kids if you wanted.

Remember that each child costs parents an average of $10k a year - a cost that is well worth it, but can be very stressful to a relationship if you are not in a stable job.

Have you adopted her child yet (assuming marraige isn't an option)?
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Re: Question about stress

Postby aubreyh24 » Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:12 pm

I kno it seems like we're rushing it, but we just have our lives planned out and didn't expect school to take as long as it is taking...
I guess with her having a 6yr old child already-its not only sibling rivalry, which we think might still be an issue, but its the fact that my partner feels like when her 6yr old gets to a certain age, say-10yrs if we wait-then she won't want to start from scratch again with a new baby...she feels as if she will lose her passion for having a child if we wait too long. And I don't wanna risk not having any children with her...I don't plan on adopting her current child-the father is very active in her life. They basically have joint custody without a court order so adopting isn't an option, nor would I ever do that to her father.
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