Girlfriend of Med Student

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Re: Girlfriend of Med Student

Postby datingmedstudent2011 » Mon Sep 12, 2011 10:16 pm

are you doing long distance or in the same area? i am doing Long distance...it's hard..though dating a med student either way i'm sure must feel like long distance...i wish it would get easier, prehaps i need to change my attitude...i'm just in a sad mood that i have found such a great guy but can't have the "regular" form of relationship to continue to get to know each other and get even closer. we are long distance plus he's in med school, i hope it will work out.
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Re: Girlfriend of Med Student

Postby fayefaye » Fri Sep 23, 2011 8:01 am

Hi everyone!

Im currently been with my boyfriend for nearly 70 months now. We were boyfriends and girlfriends since high school. We've been really close and saw each other almost everyday. Wherever he is, i was always there. Family gatherings, basketball games, hanging out with his friends and staying on his house almost everyday. I knew he was going to med school and i know it's going to be hard. He is now on his 4th month in first year med. Im very much depressed and upset about everything i have gotten myself in. He barely talks to me and see me. On weekends when we try to spend time, he falls asleep most of the time. From the upper threads i've read it has to be this way and there's still a long road to take and it's going to be really hard. I get that part, and im really trying my best to hang on the relationship. It's very difficult especially that i don't do a lot of things right now. Im on my last year in college and i go to school only twice a week. Everything is very frustrating. I have to go out alone when i want to eat somewhere because i couldn't talk to him anymore. I know he is very busy with school and he frankly said that that's his priority right now. I don't boast him that. Im trying to hang on that part, but my dillemma is that i feel like during weekends he doesn't want to spend time with me anymore but with his classmates. There were a couple of times when he said he's going to attend a dinner after class because it was his classmate's birthday. I wondered why he could still afford to eat out after class when he is with his classmates but to see me, he only just have two minutes and have to head home because he has to study. I wonder why he could take time to go to a night out with out falling asleep when it's a weekend with them but could just afford to sleep when it's a movie time with me. Is this a sign that he is enjoying more time with them and that i really am not a part of him anymore???

I seriously need help. I don't know what to do. Seems like there's a third party but not sure. I hope someone would hear me out. Thanks!

Faye
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Re: Girlfriend of Med Student

Postby datingmedstudent2011 » Sun Sep 25, 2011 1:11 am

Please know you are doing nothing wrong. You are completely right to feel this way, but before I can continue I am just curious with those.
This is what I beg you to do, please. Get busy. I know it's your last year of college, but hang out with friends, and if that isn't fulfilling at least get a job. Please. It can be a fun job at a clothing store, whatever. Be around people and be busy. The biggest problem I had this summer was that I had a lot of free time and it really killed me. Now that I am busy (working full time) it is so.much. easier, THOUGH difficult. But..please, do yourself a favor. Do a fun class, take up a hobby, or just make some spending money. YOU CANNOT have this much free time you will just...oh it will be bad. Plus you should do something for yourself!

It seems as though many of the people on this forum, including myself ask advice, or ask "is he losing feelings?" I totally understand because i use this forum also as a way to vent , because there is only so much my friends can handle me complain. But ultimately, I think that just because we are dating medical students doesn't mean we don't have the right to have our answers answered. Communications is so important and it's important for both parties in a relationship to have their needs met, even if there is some compromising as to what can be met. You have the right to calmly bring up these issues, and see his answers. Maybe he just doesn't want to miss out on bonding with his class! Maybe there is another reason, but the best and most truthful answer can only come from him. Good luck
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Re: Girlfriend of Med Student

Postby withababy » Sat Oct 01, 2011 2:33 am

My husband is in his second year of med school and we have a six month old baby. I am currently unemployed and my unemployment insurance has just run out. I have been working at an internship two days a week and we have someone come over to watch the baby since my husband's commitment to school is about 60 hours a week. I have not been able to find work and we are totally dependent on student loans for our survival. I am the happiest I have ever been in my life and am totally in love with my husband and our baby. Yes, medical school is a huge time and financial drain. But you know what, the world outside of med school is harder. There are more uncertainties in that world, and I know that my husband is following his dreams and that makes me happy. He is often stressed out and sometimes cranky, though he NEVER complains. I have had so many jobs that are more demanding and degrading than being a medical student. My graduate degree was no piece of cake either, but now with two degrees and over a decade of work experience, I am unable to find work. That is scary. The world is not as easy of a place to live in as it once was. I am grateful everyday that my husband was able to get into med school and that he will one day be a doctor. Though I don't believe that his days as a full fledged doctor will be any easier than these days are. So, I cherish the days we have together now, and am grateful that if I need him, he will make the time to be there for me.
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Re: Girlfriend of Med Student

Postby datingmedstudent2011 » Wed Oct 05, 2011 3:24 pm

We broke up. THank you to this forum for support and calming me down.

I absolutely believe you can survive a relationship with a medical student. However, there needs to be love and effort on both sides. You cannot push the relationship forwards, or hold it on your own.
I don't think it's about being in medical school or not, I believe it's about having an intensity of love that a medical student is able to make time and effort to make his/her bf/gf feel special.

Ultimately I wasn't the one. And he wasn't the one either. I think it could have worked had there been those passionate feelings. Alas, I am sad but liberated, I am excited and CANT WAIT to find the man that burns to be with me each night, not to who I feel like a burden or an obligation.
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