Girlfriend of Med Student

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What about weekends?

Postby DebraS » Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:38 am

Thank you for all of the disheartening posts above.

Let me present my situation and then voice my query.

I am in a very successful long-distance relationship with a medical student who has just completed two years and the Step 1 exam. The Step 1 exam was tough for both of us for the aforementioned reasons in the post, but we made it through and are now stronger because of it. I emphasize "successful" because both parties within the relationship are very dedicated to one another. My feelings are that it takes dedication and understanding to pursue a relationship with a medical student. These feelings play into the question.

What do the weekends consist of for a third and fourth year medical student? Please describe the on-call hours and any experiences that you have had with them? What is the class/school/study time required? What advice do you have for a significant other?

It is my hope to gain some insight into the education system so that I can formulate a plan of understanding and further dedication to the relationship.

In advance, thank you for your time in posting a reply.
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Postby EMPav » Tue Jul 31, 2007 7:37 pm

Hi there,

I’m currently dating a 3rd year med student. We met in college and while I thought dealing with his idiotic friends for two years in undergrad wasn’t enough, med school is certainly no easy road for any relationship. I have a job to keep me very busy but in all honesty at the end of the day no best girl friend or guy friend for that matter will replace my boyfriend. He has just finished his Step 1, thank goodness, but as far as I can see ahead, the road is still a long one. I wish anyone the best of luck and to hold on to their best friends, their boyfriend or girl friend, be patient and understanding. Everyday is going to be hard and the thought of breaking up will certainly cross your mind along the way. Listen to that voice in the back of your head, the one that is scared to death of losing them. Listening to that voice lets me fall asleep smiling every night, well since he is currently in his surgery rotation, it is probably every other night...still a struggle to deal with the absence. Its tough, no doubt. When you are having doubts, wait longer and try to see their perspective as much as you can. No harm in being selfish too, take time for yourself and ask time of them. If they don’t have it to give but take time to recognize what you are going through, hold on to that. We all know that appreciating someone and understanding where they are coming from are the most difficult parts of any relationship. They are trying the best they can. Hold on.

I’m sorry I don’t any advice, seems like I’m going through the same things. I’m glad to hear I’m not alone.
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Postby WranglerGenes » Sat Aug 04, 2007 9:53 am

I am with a first year Resident, RW I can tell you that his 4th yr Medical School was pretty bad,sorry to say it doesnt change. We just moved, I dont know a soul and basically here is his schedule for the next three weeks...30hrs straight, sleep eat, get up do Clinic 6a-til about 5ish back to bed by 8p because next morning 30hrs start again. He gets maybe one whole day off every other week. But good news is......its not forever, have to stay committed, and remember he isnt having a great time either. His hours are spent FULL OF STRESS, being yelled at, scolded, and being tested constantly. So what I did was a goal Calendar, one of those big calendars on the kitchen wall, because at the end of this month he gets 4 whole days off...WAHOOO!!and I mark it so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Honestly I do feel rejected, ignored, and forgotten about alot, but try and not let it own me. Its the hardest thing in the world right now to not feel bummed out when you wear something sexy and he can barely focus on you and only wants to sleep... :(
But like I said, good news is........"its not forever" Just for now it stinks!!
Id have to say though his last year of school was worse then this...last year med school is the toughest.
Take care and Hang in there RW
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thanks

Postby justthegirlfriend » Thu Aug 16, 2007 2:26 pm

thank you to everyone who has posted something positive on here about dating med students. My boyfriend is just five days into his first year, and I'm already feeling the burn (not to mention him!). I actually found this forum after googling around looking for advice for us girlfriend/boyfriend types, and was happy to come across a site containing, despite the few depressing entries, some comforting words.
So it seems that most of your are dating 2nd or 3rd years, or residents. Does anyone have any advice about the first year? What kind of things (terminology maybe!? i already get lost when he and his friends talk!) should i definetely know? What helped you to get through to where you are now?
And don't tell me to get out while i can - i love him too much.

Thanks!
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Postby WranglerGenes » Thu Aug 16, 2007 6:08 pm

The first year of Medical School for us was a cake walk compared to first year of Residency. First year of Medical School we gutted it out by simply trusting eachother, that it was going to be hard but we would make it through. Id have to say in my experience , durning Medical School, the hardest part was definitly when he took his test to get into Residency.
He has a horrible schedule, for example I went to visit family for two weeks down at the river, near Arizona. Call Pete, he tells me he loves me blah blah blah, and he is on his way going into Best Buy to exchange a Palm Pilot he bought. He says, " Baby I will call you right back, give me two minutes"........I DIDNT HEAR FROM HIM FOR 10 FREAKIN DAYS!! He was on call, plus he, as a new Resident, has to dot every "i" cross every "t" or he will get yelled at, scolded, etc. So I am sittin at the river thinkin , Oh my gosh is he dead, did he bump his head and forget about me and needs me to thunk him back into reality?What the heck? Reality for him was 30hrs straight, on call, clinic from 7am ish to 5pm ish...sleep, eat and 30 hrs again, yesterday was our first day off together in 3 weeks and yes we left his pager at home and left the house.... :lol: heehee...
Its so hard, but for me and my experience, Medical School was nothing stress wise on our relationship like Residency has been....this is THE HARDEST, at least for me.
But what I do and have always done is make the most out of the days we do get to be together, and not NAG, Be PMS'Y, Cry, lol and just not take my frustration out on him. Instead I stay busy at work, and take up the slack so he can totally concentrate on doing the next three years so we can BE DONE.....WAHOOO...Countin the days, Countin the days!!
And hes worth it, he is so worth it!!
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